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Grieving Over Bad Choices: Understanding Destiny and Responsibility in Islam

Q: Allah Ta’ala says in the holy quran “In order that you may not grieve at the things that you fail to get, nor rejoice over that which has been given to you. And Allah like not prideful boasters” Sura hadeed ayah 23

My question is that sometimes we lose or fail to get something because of our wrong choices or decisions (we make these wrong choices by mistake, carelessness, not judging the matter judiciously or out of arrogance or ignorance). We turn out to be loser (ok this was written in our destiny) but should we not grieve if we made a wrong choice? Are we not responsible for what is written in our destiny? Allah is just so how can he make one’s destiny good and other’s bad. It is also said that everything happens for good. Is it applicable in the case we made a wrong choice? So should we not grieve for our bad choices in life?

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A: The basic understanding of taqdeer which we are explained is that taqdeer means to believe that the ill and the good are pre-destined. Everything happens by the will of Allah Ta’aala. However, Allah Ta’aala has given man a choice between good and evil. For the good actions man carries out, Allah Ta’aala promises reward, and for the evil deeds man does, Allah Ta’aala warns of his punishment. Each person with his own choice carries out good actions or does evil deeds. No person is forced to carry out any action, whether good or evil. A person, who is caught for theft, is apprehended and imprisoned by the law. The law punishes such a person on account of him utilising his choice in the wrong avenue. Had he been forced by the law to steal, the law will not be justified in punishing him. Hence, Allah Ta’aala gives each person a choice between good and evil. Allah Ta’aala rewards the good doer for the good and punishes the evil doer for the evil. The meaning of taqdeer is not that we are forced to do any action. Allah Ta’aala will not punish a person for something Allah Ta’aala forced him to do.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

عن أبي هريرة قال خرج علينا رسول الله صلى الله عليه و سلم ونحن نتنازع في القدر فغضب حتى أحمر وجهه حتى كأنما فقئ في وجنتيه الرمان فقال أبهذا أمرتم أم بهذا أرسلت إليكم ؟ إنما هلك من كان قبلكم حين تنازعوا في هذا الأمر عزمت عليكم عزمت عليكم ألا تتنازعوا فيه.(مشكوة المصابيح ص22)

فتاوى محمودية (3/89)

Answered by:

Mufti Zakaria Makada

Checked & Approved:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.