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Married for 10 Years: Struggling with Hijab and Un-Islamic Practices

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Muftionline.co.za

Q: I have been married for 10 years now. My husband had been living in … for the past 25 years and I joined him here after marriage. When I came here, I discovered that he was involved in a lot of un-Islamic practices like gambling, interest based transactions and such. I, however, try my best to cope with all these, as he is a very nice person aside from all that. However, the major problem I face is in wearing hijab. I grew up in … wearing niqab but I took it off when I moved to … (I was lost for a while). I started wearing hijab again five years ago. He doesn’t like me wearing it because he says it embarrasses him to be seen with me anywhere he goes. He doesn’t take me when he is out with his friends and says we can’t do a lot of activities because of my hijab. I take all this, but it has now come to the point where he stops talking to me for days entirely because he is upset about my hijab. I know I can’t take it off and I don’t want to take it off, but what to do? I don’t know any solution for it. From what I have seen, my family and his family will tell me to take it off for peace between me and him. This problem is making me miserable. There are days when I really consider separation. Please help.

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A: Your husband is a jaahil. Hijaab is a garment of honour and respect. Only a jaahil will feel embarrassed with a garment of respect and dignity. Don’t ever obey him in this regard. Be strict in your ways. If not, you will be consumed by the rotten western culture.

And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.

يـأَيُّهَا النَّبِىُّ قُل لِأَزوجِكَ وَبَناتِكَ وَنِساءِ المُؤمِنينَ يُدنينَ عَلَيهِنَّ مِن جَلـبيبِهِنَّ ذلِكَ أَدنى أَن يُعرَفنَ فَلا يُؤذَينَ وَكانَ اللَّـهُ غَفورًا رَحيمًا ﴿الأحزاب:٥٩﴾

يـأَيُّهَا الَّذينَ ءامَنوا لا تَدخُلوا بُيوتَ النَّبِىِّ إِلّا أَن يُؤذَنَ لَكُم إِلى طَعامٍ غَيرَ نـظِرينَ إِنىهُ وَلـكِن إِذا دُعيتُم فَادخُلوا فَإِذا طَعِمتُم فَانتَشِروا وَلا مُستَـٔنِسينَ لِحَديثٍ إِنَّ ذلِكُم كانَ يُؤذِى النَّبِىَّ فَيَستَحيۦ مِنكُم وَاللَّـهُ لا يَستَحيۦ مِنَ الحَقِّ وَإِذا سَأَلتُموهُنَّ مَتـعًا فَسـَٔلوهُنَّ مِن وَراءِ حِجابٍ ذلِكُم أَطهَرُ لِقُلوبِكُم وَقُلوبِهِنَّ وَما كانَ لَكُم أَن تُؤذوا رَسولَ اللَّـهِ وَلا أَن تَنكِحوا أَزوجَهُ مِن بَعدِهِ أَبَدًا إِنَّ ذلِكُم كانَ عِندَ اللَّـهِ عَظيمًا﴿الأحزاب:٥٣﴾

عن علي أنه كان عند النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال: “أي شيء خير للمرأة؟ فسكتوا، قال: فلما رجعت قلت: لفاطمة: أي شيء خير للنساء؟ قالت لا يرين الرجال ولا يرونهن، فذكرت ذلك للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فقال: إنما فاطمة بضعة مني (البزار ، وأبو نعيم فى الحلية وضعف) [كنز العمال 46012]

عن أم سلمة قالت كنت عند رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم وعنده ميمونة فأقبل ابن أم مكتوم وذلك بعد أن أمرنا بالحجاب فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم احتجبا منه. فقلنا يا رسول الله أليس أعمى لا يبصرنا ولا يعرفنا فقال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم أفعمياوان أنتما ألستما تبصرانه (رواه أبو داود 2/568)

Answered by:

Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)

This answer was collected from MuftiOnline.co.za, where the questions have been answered by Mufti Zakaria Makada (Hafizahullah), who is currently a senior lecturer in the science of Hadith and Fiqh at Madrasah Ta’leemuddeen, Isipingo Beach, South Africa.

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