Q: For as far as I can remember I can’t think clearly, there is a lot of weard and bad thoughts in my head. I often have the feeling that it has no benefit for me to live anymore, and also that I have no Imaan. I do know that I have an Imaan because I was born as a Muslim Alhamdulillah, but I am not feeling it if you know what I mean. For example, if my mother says to me ”Go and listen to Naat Sharief”, then a voice inside me tells me why are you going to listen Naat Sharief. It has no benefit (Astaghfirullah) and who is Rasulullah (Astaghfirullah). So I have a lot of bad thoughts inside me which is very difficult for me to get rid of completely. That’s what I mean by I can’t think clearly because I don’t have these bad thoughts only in Islam, but everyday, everytime about everything. You can also say that I can’t be myself and I never was myself, because I can’t feel myself due to these thoughts. I myself think that this is Waswaas from shaitaan, but I am not sure. I have this problem my whole life until today. I often get suicidal thoughts. Please help me. I want to benefit from my life and especially from this month Holy Ramadhaan.
A: Thoughts don’t remove you from imaan. You are still in imaan. Link yourself with some learned pious person and follow him. Don’t do anything without consulting him.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
فَبِمَا رَحْمَةٍ مِّنَ اللَّـهِ لِنتَ لَهُمْ وَلَوْ كُنتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ فَاعْفُ عَنْهُمْ وَاسْتَغْفِرْ لَهُمْ وَشَاوِرْهُمْ فِي الْأَمْرِ فَإِذَا عَزَمْتَ فَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّـهِ إِنَّ اللَّـهَ يُحِبُّ الْمُتَوَكِّلِينَ ﴿آل عمران: ١٥٩﴾
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّـهَ وَكُونُوا مَعَ الصَّادِقِينَ ﴿التوبة: ١١٩﴾