Q: I have a marriage question. I am 23 years old. I got married last year but been engaged with my husband for 4 years. During our engagement we had a lot of arguments and one big argument about a year ago where he thought I was cheating on him so he wanted to break the engagement but his parents persuaded him not to. About six months after the wedding I found out the real reason for my husband wanted to end the engagement which was that he wanted to marry someone else but his parent kinda force him to marry me. Now he still speaks to that girl and when I confront him, he says that he’s not speaking to her and wants a relationship with me and that it’s all my fault because “I have a women’s brain and he is loyal with me” and I try to do everything for this relationship to work but I’m not getting anything from him. One of the big reason that stresses me out is that he does not want to have children and when I talk about having children he makes excuses up that we are not financial stable or he doesn’t like children. Also another thing is that I called my husband over to the UK from Pakistan and all my family is always saying how he is just looking to settle in the UK and get a visa and then he will leave me, I am so worried about this because I actually want this relationship to work but I don’t know what his intentions are. I really love my husband and want him to love me back but if he loves someone else I don’t want to be in the way of his happiness. Sometimes I think I should get a divorce because I don’t want him to use me for the visa and then leave me. Couple of times I spoken to him to marry that girl but he just shuts me down. I am so confused about what to do. Can you please explain to me what I should do Islamicly? Shall I stay or leave him because this is hurting too much and everyday it’s getting more hard and I dont know what to do?
A: If he is not interested in children and getting children then kindly ask him for a separation.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)