Q: I’m a girl and i’m of 16 years. Skipping the details and coming to the point is that recently like a few months back I went through serious depression. I tried committing suicide too. But I regret that now of course. I know it’s a sin. And I hope Allah forgives me for it. Mean while I was in depression. This guy messaged me. And things got very deep. I mean he liked me and my brain was too messed to even understand what was even happening. I used to take medication which drove me insane. Though, when my senses came back. I realized that I was doing something wrong. The environment I was in wasn’t suitable for me. My mom made me change school and no matter how much I scream. This environment is better than the previous one. It’s not co-education. I was still suffering from depression. Another reason was added that I broke a person’s heart by telling him I didn’t love him. Because I just didn’t. And I thought I was doing something wrong. There was no peace left inside me when I used to talk him. So, the best thing to do was to simply stop talking to him. He cursed me a lot. Then what happened after this is the main problem. There used to be this guy in our class. He was a good kid. Like a nerd sort of. He messaged. He had some work. And we started talking eventually. He helped me come out of my depression. He drew me near to Allah. Because I was lost. I was broken and I wanted to be filled with love. I needed Allah in my life. He helped me a lot and I owe him a lot. And now i’ve improved a lot. My eating disorders, sleepiness and everything is fine now. I’ve found myself again. Or at least i’m trying to sort my life out. Now, during all these things. We became very close. And call it some stupid, teenage puppy love or whatever. But his personality drove me crazy. He isn’t that dreamy. I mean if you judge by the face. But he has a pure heart. He prays and always makes duaá for me. But do you think the way we talk is gunnah? Like we talk like we’re best friends but he loves me a lot and I love him too. He makes Duaa to Allah that he gets me in the future. I just think it’s something bad. And Allah hates me for this. But I am so addicted to his existence that I can’t stop talking to him. And to add on. He’s good at studies so he has helped me a lot. Please can you advise me what should I do? I’ll ruin him and myself if I leave. I’m lost. And even though I never believed in teenage love, i’m falling for him more and more everyday. May Allah reward you for all the good deeds you do. And do you think Allah hates me? I just think he does.
A: It is not permissible for a girl to be in contact or to speak casually with a non-mahram boy. You should sincerely repent to Allah Ta’ala for getting involved in this sin and make a firm resolve that you will not repeat this sin in the future. If you wish to get married to this boy, then you should mention it to your parents. If your parents are happy with the boy, then they may get you married to him.
And Allah Ta’ala (الله تعالى) knows best.
Answered by:
Mufti Zakaria Makada
Checked & Approved:
Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Isipingo Beach)