Wife not happy due to mother




_ I had love marriage with my wife. We stay with my parents. Due to some problems with my mother, my wife now stays disappointed and angry on small issues. She even does not pay any respect to me nor my parents. We also have a one and half year old baby. What should I do? Leave her?

I have explained to her many times to stay clam and happy; however that has not solved this problem yet.

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

_ At the outset, it is incumbent to know that it is not permissible to have any relationship with a non-mahram before marriage. Such relationships are totally forbidden according to the teachings of Islam. If a person did have any sort of relationship with his/her spouse before getting married to her/him, it is compulsory upon him/her to repent.

According to the statistics, every third (love) marriage ends in divorce in Australia. In USA, every second (love) marriage ends in divorce. The divorce rate among the Muslims who practise arranged marriage is much less.

Our suggestion to you is that you should consider living with your wife and child separately from your parents, i.e. in a separate house. This way, there will be less interaction between your wife and your parents; and hence there will be less scope for problems to occur between your wife and your parents.

Bear in mind that – contrary to what is generally believed by many people – a woman is not responsible for taking care of and serving her husband’s parents. Therefore, do not think that it is your wife’s duty to take care of your parents. Rather, taking care of your parents is your responsibility. Therefore, even when you live separately from your parents, you must still take care of them. Read the following answer for more details on this:

http://www.mufti-online.net/tension-between-wife-and-her-mother-in-law.html

Lastly, in order to have a pleasant, satisfying and meaningful life, we cannot over-emphasise the importance of embracing each and every teaching of Islam.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Faizal Riza
9/1/2012