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Husband and in laws problems

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I am working lady and teach to graduate students. After the marriage my husband was against mine teaching to coed college students.

I listened to my husband and I quit the job by willing and Allah SWT gave me a good job in Girls College. I Started earning and then issues concerning to money was a common dispute among us always and my husband used to give his earning to his parents and not support me and my child.

I sacrificed many things for him but he never gave a damn hear to all my pleads for anything. His main motive is to help his parents and sister. For which I never I objected but at the same time expected him to be responsible to his son and towards me.

Finally I got a good job in Saudi Arabia and I took a loan  from the bank which runs on  Islamic sharia  and  constructed house on the land which my father in law possess. Actually I was not willing to but my husband and in-laws forced me to invest loan amount in the construction.

Alhamdulillah, since three years they are receiving the rent from the house.

As my husband was jobless in Saudi Arabia ,I did so many things for my in law’s ,whenever they need money I used to send them and all demands used to be fulfilled and I didn’t ask even a single penny from the rented house which I have constructed. Despite of many sacrifices my

 In-laws behavior towards me is always very rude , arrogant  and emotionless towards me and they expect me to do all the  favors all the time without mine expectation. I feel very hurt by their nature and my husband in this regard also never realized his parents that they should mend their ways since I am doing all the duties and responsibilities truthfully which actually a son should do.

I am  observing patience since 8 years of my marriage ,many times I feel frustrated and  used to console  myself that one day in-laws will realize my sacrifices etc. but to my disappointment they never did .For how long I should bear this injustice towards me.

I am just perplexed as what to do by their injustice.

Could you please me suggest me as what should I dO?

Assalamualaikum

I am working lady and teach to graduate students. After the marriage my husband was against mine teaching to coed college students.

I listened to my husband and I quit the job by willing and Allah SWT gave me a good job in Girls College. I Started earning and then issues concerning to money was a common dispute among us always and my husband used to give his earning to his parents and not support me and my child.

I sacrificed many things for him but he never gave a damn hear to all my pleads for anything. His main motive is to help his parents and sister. For which I never I objected but at the same time expected him to be responsible to his son and towards me.

Finally I got a good job in Saudi Arabia and I took a loan  from the bank which runs on  Islamic sharia  and  constructed house on the land which my father in law possess. Actually I was not willing to but my husband and in-laws forced me to invest loan amount in the construction.

Alhamdulillah, since three years they are receiving the rent from the house.

As my husband was jobless in Saudi Arabia ,I did so many things for my in law’s ,whenever they need money I used to send them and all demands used to be fulfilled and I didn’t ask even a single penny from the rented house which I have constructed. Despite of many sacrifices my

 In-laws behavior towards me is always very rude , arrogant  and emotionless towards me and they expect me to do all the  favors all the time without mine expectation. I feel very hurt by their nature and my husband in this regard also never realized his parents that they should mend their ways since I am doing all the duties and responsibilities truthfully which actually a son should do.

I am  observing patience since 8 years of my marriage ,many times I feel frustrated and  used to console  myself that one day in-laws will realize my sacrifices etc. but to my disappointment they never did .For how long I should bear this injustice towards me.

I am just perplexed as what to do by their injustice.

Could you please me suggest me as what should I do?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Sister in Islam,

We understand your predicament. May Allah Ta’aalaa reward you for your patience and grant you a life of peace and bliss. Ameen.

It was indeed wrong that your husband and in-laws treated you in such an inhumane way. As a human being, your feelings should have been taken into consideration and you should have been treated with in a respectful manner.

In order to solve this problem, communication is essential. You should respectfully bring up the matter with your husband and discuss it with him. Explain to him how you feel and that you may not be able to handle this kind of treatment anymore. It is your husband’s job to provide for the family, not yours. Ensure that your approach to him is most respectful and humble. He should understand that you are not trying to argue with him or scold him but rather that you are trying to maintain a stable and healthy relationship and marriage. When your husband has understood the matter, you may request him to talk to his family to treat you respectfully.

Lastly, beg Allah Ta’aalaa for his assistance and guidance, as only He has the ability to change you situation.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Muhammad Haris Siddiqui

Student Darul Iftaa
Melbourne, Australia 

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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