My parents arranged my nikah and I have paid Mahr/dowry at the the time of Nikah. Now I want to bring my wife home and consummate marriage. But my parents are expecting dowry/jahez/furniture from my wife’s family, and they say Rasoolullah(may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) have given such things to her daughter Fatima(may Allah be pleased with her) on her marriage. And this thing is delaying my marriage because her parents don’t have sufficient money for buying all those things.
How should I deal with this matter? I know asking dowry from wife is contrary to Islamic teaching but what should I do if my parents are not convinced?
My two young brothers live with my parents in a small two beadroom house, and I’m living in another city because I have a job here. After marriage, my parents want to take my wife with them to their home, and want to keep her with them in future. It will be hard for my wife to veil herself in front of my brothers, how should I deal if my parents don’t allow her to live with me?
I am getting older and I want to get married soon as Alhamdulillaah, I’m not facing any financial problem. Till now, I’m spending most of my salary on my parents, one reason for not letting me get married is fear of my parents that their son will spend all of his salary on his wife.
How should I deal with all these issues?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Brother in Islam,
The jahez given by the girl’s parents is a gift to their daughter. This is a completely private issue between the parents and their daughter. It has nothing to do with the husband and wife consummating the marriage and staying together. Rasulullah (Sallāllahu ‘Alaihi wasallam) got married many times and he did not wait for the jahez from his wives parents. In fact in many instances there was no jahez. In the case of Fatima (radhiyallāhu ‘Anha) the items of jahez too were small and basic. It is possible your parents misunderstood the issue of Jahez. Explain to them with love and compassion the concept of jahez. Your reading of the issue that due to your staying with your wife may lead to financial constraints is also possible.
It is best you discuss the issue with your parents and look for ways to allay their fears. You may also show them this fatwa.[1]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Saleem Khan
Student Darul Iftaa
Bradford, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net
[1] فتاوي دار العلوم ديوبيند ج ٨ ص ٢٦١ دار الاشاعة
امداد الاحكام ج ٢ ص ٣٧٠
كفاية المفتي ج ٩ ص ٨٨
جامع الفتاوي ج ١٠ ص ٦٣