Travel before Ruksati

My question is with regards to spending the night with my wife before the ruksati, my father is of the opinion that i should not spend the night or go on holiday with my wife until the ruksati takes place, my wife and her family however find this as unjust but my father is doing so on the basis of it looking disrespectful before my wife has moved in with me, please advice me.

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

In principle, once the contract of nikāh has been concluded, the husband is entitled to sexual intimacy with his wife. The wife has the right to refuse his sexual advances or to travel with him until he submits the mahr mu‘ajjal (the mahr due immediately). After submission of the mahr mu‘ajjal, the husband is at liberty to take her where he pleases.[1]

“Ruksati” or “zifāf” refers to the customary handing over of the wife into the custody of the husband.[2]  The purpose of zifāf is to make it possible for the husband to fully exercise his rights as a husband. In traditional Muslim societies, sexual intimacy normally occurred after zifāf.[3] However, zifāf itself is not a condition for enjoying sexual intimacy with one’s wife.[4]

If it is customary in your culture to wait until zifāf before consummating the marriage, or there isn’t a long time before zifāf takes place, it will be better to respect your father’s wishes and delay consummation of the marriage until zifāf. If it is not customary to wait until zifāf or there is a considerable amount of time before zifāf, it will be advisable to explain the above ruling to your father so that he approves of you spending time with your wife before zifāf.

And Allah Ta‘ālā Knows Best

Zameelur Rahman

Student Darul Iftaa
UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net