I am working in gulf country & living with my wife, my mother lives in india, I tried to keep my mother with me, however, she stayed here for a short period & went back to india, she has gone thru lot of hardships in her life, currently she is leaving alone,our relatives are not supportive enough to give her company or visit her frequently. I don’t want to live my mom alone. I have 3 options:
1) To convince her to live with me, which my mom is not agreeing, I think because of the few differences that arouse between my mother & my wife, plus the visa regulations which does not allow to sponsor the parents on residence visa unless for those having high salaries, with my current salary iam not eligible to sponsor 1 year residence visa but I can sponsor her 3 months visit visa, twice/thrice a year, the medical cost is very high here & my mother is very worried that in case any medical issues arise I will be in trouble,but my personal view is Allah will not put burden more than what a person can bear. I tried to convince her but so far she hasn’t agreed.
2) Sending my wife back to india, so that she can live with my mother & I will go to india once in 3 or 4 months. But my wife is ready to stay with her.
3) Me & my wife will settle in India & we will stay with my mother,I will find a job in India, But the jobs in my city where I live does not offer good salaries,the salaries are so low that it might not cover my expenses & I do not have any resources to start a business in india, my mom, my widow sister & his son are dependent on me, their expenses are taken care by me. If I move to india I may not be able to cover all these expenses, But again, my heart says to me allah can give rizq any where,
I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave my mother alone, at the same time I want to take care of my family,my sister & his son’s education etc.
Please advise me the solution.
Jazakallah
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salamu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullahi wa-barakatuh.
It is encouraging to hear your concern in taking care of your mother. May Allah accept your efforts. Ameen.
A son who takes care of his parents especially when they require it, will indeed lead a successful life. He will find bliss in every sphere of his life. He will pave his way to ultimate success in the hereafter as well. It only takes a little courage and effort to structure a life filled with bliss and happiness.
Playing the role of an obedient concerned son and husband is a challenging situation. Absolute caution should be taken in making a decision that concerns ones mother and wife. Be particular in not compromising the rights of your mother and wife. Allah loves a just and fair husband.
In your situation, the first option seems to be more appropriate in our humble opinion since you have very limited options. However, try and create mutual love and understanding between your mother and wife as it will be much easier to maintain stability in your adjustments. Remember, mutual love and understanding is the key to all social challenges.
And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Ismaeel Bassa
Student Darul Iftaa
Durban South Africa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
www.daruliftaa.net