Can we use matrimonial sites? Can woman marry with intention of halalah? If a person I caused pain to doesn’t forgive should I come to terms that I will be punished?

 

1) in todays day and age of technology alot of people are trying to stay away from haraam and looking to settle down, for me personally who is seeking to get married again i am not the type who will go out searching for a wife, alot of people nowadays use these matrimonial websites such as siglemuslim , i was wondering can we use these websites because i know talking to the opposite sexes is not allowed and because me personally who does not know anyone in my life who seeks to get married can we give these websites a go?

 

2) if a man divorces his wife and she marries someone else to just divorce him and become halal for her previous husband is that permissable?

 

3) Also if someone says they wil never forgive you because of some pain you caused them no matter how many times you apologise should you come to terms that you will be punished by Allah? JazaakAllah khair

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa rahmatullāhi wa barakātuh.

1)      “Single Muslim” and other Muslim matrimonial sites are matchmaking websites meant to facilitate seeking a compatible marriage partner. We understand the practical need for such a facility, especially for reverts and for unmarried individuals who do not have the necessary family and social support for identifying a suitable partner. However, based on the following reasons, the currently available matrimonial websites are inappropriate and, at times, impermissible: 

  1. a.     Members select the potential partners they would like to follow-up themselves, and usually end up directly contacting them by email, phone etc., which has a major potential for fitnah (temptation and sin) 
  2. b.     Many of these sites are picture-based, so men and women share pictures of each other, often without hijab. This is impermissible and also a source of fitnah.  
  3. c.      When creating a profile, someone may lie about their age, background, level of practice and so on, and as it is difficult to verify information online, it may lead to family problems and even breakdown in the future.

If a matrimonial website is devoid of these, and any other, problems, it would be permissible and a beneficial avenue for Muslims looking to find a compatible marriage partner. A workable Islamic matrimonial website should consist of the following features:

  1. A group of respectable people appointed by ‘ulamā’ regulate the website
  2. The database of profiles is accessible only to the regulators
  3. No pictures are submitted for the profiles, although there may be a description of key physical features
  4. The regulators verify each profile that is submitted by reliable methods of investigation
  5. The regulators act as intermediaries between potential spouses by matching up profiles according to their suitability (based on location, language and so on) and according to what each person is looking for
  6. Once profiles have been matched up, and potential partners agree to consider each other, it can be arranged for them to meet under the guidance of the regulators and the relatives of the potential partners

Based on the features of currently available matrimonial sites, we do not advise using them. One should ask his sister/s, mother and female relatives to use their network of friends to find a suitable partner. If as many reliable people as possible are informed that one is single and in search of a spouse, the chances of finding a suitable spouse will be greatly improved.

2)     If in a marriage, the intention of making the wife permissible for her previous husband is not verbalised or stated as a condition in the marriage contract, the marriage is permissible.[1]

 

3)     One must exercise utmost caution with respect to the rights of fellow people. If someone violates the rights of Allāh Ta‘ālā and he makes sincere tawbah, Allāh Ta‘ālā will answer and he will be forgiven. If, however, he violates the rights of a fellow human being, he will only be forgiven once the victim pardons him.[2] The rights that have not been settled in this world will be postponed to the afterlife. If the oppressor is in possession of good deeds, these will be transferred to the one he wronged to the degree of his oppression, and if he has no good deeds, the sins of the victim will be transferred to him.[3] In the situation that the victim refuses to forgive in this world, one’s only option is to adopt a life of righteousness and increase in acts of piety, so he has sufficient good deeds to compensate the victim in the afterlife and ensure his own salvation. However, it is possible that due to one’s subsequent piety, Allāh Ta‘ālā will not apply this general procedure, and will simply make the victim contented in some other way.[4]

And Allah Ta‘ālā Knows Best

Zameelur Rahman

Student Darul Iftaa
UK

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

www.daruliftaa.net

 


[1] قوله ( أما إذا أضمرا ذلك ) محترز قوله بشرط التحليل ( لا يكره ) بل يحل له في قولهم جميعا

 قهستاني عن المضمرات

 قوله ( لقصد الإصلاح ) أي إذا كان قصده ذلك لا مجرد قضار الشهوة ونحوها

 وأورد السروجي أن الثابت عادة كالثابت نصا أي فيصير شرط التحليل كأنه منصوص عليه في العقد فيكره

 وأجاب في الفتح بأنه لا يلزم من قصد الزوج ذلك أن يكون معروفا بين الناس إنما ذلك فيمن نصب نفسه لذلك وصار مشتهرا به ا هـ

 تأمل

 قوله ( وتأويل اللعن الخ ) الأولى أن يقول وقيل تأويل اللعن الخ كما هو عبارة البزازية ولا سيما وقد ذكره بعد ما مشى عليه المصنف من التأويل المشهور عند علمائنا ليفيد أنه تأويل آخر وأنه ضعيف

 قال في الفتح وهنا قول آخر وهو أنه مأجور وإن شرط لقصد الإصلاح وتأويل اللعن عند هؤلاء إذا شرط الأجر على ذلك ا هـ

 قلت واللعن على هذا الحمل أظهر لأنه كأخذ الأجرة على عسب التيس وهو حرام (رد المحتار، سعيد، ج.٣ ص٤١٥)

[2] إنعام الباري، مكتبة الحراء، ج٧ ص١٤٢

[3] عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: «أَتَدْرُونَ مَا الْمُفْلِسُ؟» قَالُوا: الْمُفْلِسُ فِينَا مَنْ لَا دِرْهَمَ لَهُ وَلَا مَتَاعَ، فَقَالَ: «إِنَّ الْمُفْلِسَ مِنْ أُمَّتِي يَأْتِي يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ بِصَلَاةٍ، وَصِيَامٍ، وَزَكَاةٍ، وَيَأْتِي قَدْ شَتَمَ هَذَا، وَقَذَفَ هَذَا، وَأَكَلَ مَالَ هَذَا، وَسَفَكَ دَمَ هَذَا، وَضَرَبَ هَذَا، فَيُعْطَى هَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ، وَهَذَا مِنْ حَسَنَاتِهِ، فَإِنْ فَنِيَتْ حَسَنَاتُهُ قَبْلَ أَنْ يُقْضَى مَا عَلَيْهِ أُخِذَ مِنْ خَطَايَاهُمْ فَطُرِحَتْ عَلَيْهِ، ثُمَّ طُرِحَ فِي النَّارِ» (صحيح مسلم، تكملة فتح الملهم، دار إحياء التراث العربي، ج. ٥ ص. ٢٩٩)

[4] كَانَ فِيمَنْ كَانَ قَبْلَكُمْ رَجُلٌ قَتَلَ تِسْعَةً وَتِسْعِينَ نَفْسًا، فَسَأَلَ عَنْ أَعْلَمِ أَهْلِ الْأَرْضِ فَدُلَّ عَلَى رَاهِبٍ، فَأَتَاهُ فَقَالَ: إِنَّهُ قَتَلَ تِسْعَةً وَتِسْعِينَ نَفْسًا، فَهَلْ لَهُ مِنْ تَوْبَةٍ؟ فَقَالَ: لَا، فَقَتَلَهُ، فَكَمَّلَ بِهِ مِائَةً، ثُمَّ سَأَلَ عَنْ أَعْلَمِ أَهْلِ الْأَرْضِ فَدُلَّ عَلَى رَجُلٍ عَالِمٍ، فَقَالَ: إِنَّهُ قَتَلَ مِائَةَ نَفْسٍ، فَهَلْ لَهُ مِنْ تَوْبَةٍ؟ فَقَالَ: نَعَمْ، وَمَنْ يَحُولُ بَيْنَهُ وَبَيْنَ التَّوْبَةِ؟ انْطَلِقْ إِلَى أَرْضِ كَذَا وَكَذَا، فَإِنَّ بِهَا أُنَاسًا يَعْبُدُونَ اللهَ فَاعْبُدِ اللهَ مَعَهُمْ، وَلَا تَرْجِعْ إِلَى أَرْضِكَ، فَإِنَّهَا أَرْضُ سَوْءٍ، فَانْطَلَقَ حَتَّى إِذَا نَصَفَ الطَّرِيقَ أَتَاهُ الْمَوْتُ، فَاخْتَصَمَتْ فِيهِ مَلَائِكَةُ الرَّحْمَةِ وَمَلَائِكَةُ الْعَذَابِ، فَقَالَتْ مَلَائِكَةُ الرَّحْمَةِ: جَاءَ تَائِبًا مُقْبِلًا بِقَلْبِهِ إِلَى اللهِ، وَقَالَتْ مَلَائِكَةُ الْعَذَابِ: إِنَّهُ لَمْ يَعْمَلْ خَيْرًا قَطُّ، فَأَتَاهُمْ مَلَكٌ فِي صُورَةِ آدَمِيٍّ، فَجَعَلُوهُ بَيْنَهُمْ، فَقَالَ: قِيسُوا مَا بَيْنَ الْأَرْضَيْنِ، فَإِلَى أَيَّتِهِمَا كَانَ أَدْنَى فَهُوَ لَهُ، فَقَاسُوهُ فَوَجَدُوهُ أَدْنَى إِلَى الْأَرْضِ الَّتِي أَرَادَ، فَقَبَضَتْهُ مَلَائِكَةُ الرَّحْمَةِ (صحيح مسلم، تمكلة فتح الملهم، دار إحياء التراث العربي، ج.٦ ص. ٢٨)