I am a young female and I believe I am ready to get married. However I have not gotten any proposal that I like. I wear hijab and I am a practising Muslim and the proposals I get are from people who don’t pray or are not serious about their religion. My brother says that I have to correct myself and then Allah will bring a religous one to me. I have some guys friends that I talk to, I don’t like them but I just talk to them since I’ve known them since childhood. I am close to only one of them but I do not want to marry him but I see him as a close friend my brother says to end such relationships and make things halal and then Allah will help me. He says that Allah wants to see me do what’s pleasing for HIM in order for HIM to please me. Is there any truth to what my brother is saying? I am thinking that I will not get a good husband and I might give in sooner or later to one who is not religious. Can you please help me and explain if what my brother says is true.
Hazrat Abu Hurairah (RA) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam) said, ‘When a person proposes a marriage to you (for a female in
your family) and you are happy with his religion and character, then marry
him (accept his proposal). If you do not do that, there will be corruption
and widespread evil on earth.’ (Mirqaat, Ali ibn Sultan vol. 6 pg. 192 –
Multan)
The above hadith provides two guidelines for a female to consider a
proposal:
One) The males adherence to Deen.
Two) The males good character.
In order to establish and maintain a successful marriage, both guidelines,
adherence to Deen and good character are equally important. However, the
level of the boys adherence to Deen (for example keeping a beard and pants
above the ankles etc.) is not been specified in the Shariah. It is left to
the discretion and satisfaction of the guardians of the proposed girl.
Obviously their concern is the girls peace and prosperity. In a reply to a
similar question from a concerned father, Moulana Ashrah Ali Thanvi replied,
‘I . that full religiousness is not to be found in bearded people. One
shaves the beard, one is irreligious in other ways so what will you do with
only the beard. Look at two things: 1) no doubt in Islamic beliefs. 2)
respectful of elders and saints, and kind hearted to fulfill his duties and
with some wealth. Then with increasing relationship no matter his beard will
also grow. A father approached Hazrat Hasan Basri (RA) saying, I have only
one daughter and received many proposals for her. Which proposal should I
accept? He replied, accept the proposal of a person who fears Allah, if he
loves your daughter, he will honour her, and if he dislikes her, he will
oppress her. (Mirqatul Ali-ibn Sultan vol. 6 pg. 188 – Multan).
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
FATWA DEPT.