After four weeks into my marriage we had no husband-wife relationship and when I told his family it became a big issue and I said something’s wrong with him, he acts like if he is not married. And when they asked him what wrong he told them that he is stressed out and living in a new place is hard that’s why he couldn?t give me time. They all said this a bad excuse, I had gone to my parents house until there was a solution. Then his family called me to go back he is fine now. I went back and everything was fine we, we consummated the marriage once after one week I was online and his email was open and I saw a folder that said ?sex for men? and it made me curious look through his email and I he had membership to Gay Porn websites like 4 for them and 140 emails form guys in which some one them he had invited to our house when I was not there. And the also found a diary that had things written like: 455 white man, bottom, clean shaved, 195lbs available 5-12pm, loves cuddling etc, it had like 20 for these. And he also found his cell phone bills which he made calls to gay men hotlines. I didn?t say anything I was shocked I went to my parent’s house and told them, they went to talk to him and he confessed to my dad that he is gay, he wants green card. And my dad told him its over. Its been 5 months and our family are not talking anymore.
A Muslim court with full authority is needed in order to annul a Nikah. If there is a group in your vicinity that handles the affairs of the Muslims then that group should appoint three ‘Aalims or a group of three individuals in which at least one is an ‘Aalim and give them the right to solve the family and marital problems in light of the Shari’ah. You should forward your case to them which they can solve through the books of jurisprudence e.g. Heela-e-Naajizah by Moulana Ashraf Ali Thanwi (R.A.A.) and Majmoo’ah Qawaneen by Muslim Personal Law board India. They can also refer to us in this regard. We, from South Africa, cannot directly do anything to annul your marriage. If there is no special well arranged group of such in your vicinity, then the Masjid committee can also appoint the abovementioned three individuals.
The best solution to this problem of yours is that you should urge and pressurize him (through the court or otherwise) to utter or write the words of Talaaq-e-Baain (irrevocable divorce). You can also ask him for Khulaa (i.e. divorce in exchange of your pardoning him of the dowry that he owes you, etc.) You can further consult the Ulamaa of your locality in this regard
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Muhammad Ashraf
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