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Divorce between parents – What happens to a husband/father who mistreats his wife and children on the Day of Judgement?

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

My parents have three children – Me (24 years), my brother (20), and my sister (11). I need your advice about what to do about my parents – My mother caught my father having an affair, and they haven’t spoken to one another for 7 years. On top of that, my father repeatedly talks about my mother behind her back (In a negative way), and even though relatives have told them to divorce repeatedly if they don’t like one another (they’ve also told them to patch things up), they still don’t care. On top of that, my father gives my mother just enough money to buy food, but spends a lot on himself. My mother wants to fix the relationship (Although recently, she seems to have given up), but he doesn’t… It’s as though he enjoys making her suffer by giving her next to nothing for clothes etc. Years ago, he used to blame a lot of his problems on her, when she had nothing to di with it. I have had to restrain myself many times, because in the end, he is my father, but I need advice on what to do. Please don’t tell me to get them to sit in a room together and talk, because I’ve already tried that numerous times. Please advise… 1. What to do? 2. How should a husband treat his wife & children, and 3. What happens to a husband/father who mistreats his wife and children on the Day of Judgement?

Answer

It is rather a painful situation when a child sees his/ her parents experiencing marital problems the pain increases seeing the one who is wronged. A confusion of guilt and pain also arises when one experiences anger at a parent who is the problem coupled with love and fear of hurting the parent concerned.

What does one do?

1. Firstly make sincere dua daily especially after every salaah and if possible at Tahajjud time, shed tears and plead to Allah Ta’ala.

2. Then change your attitude and aviod giving advices to them or worrying about their duties or whom is right and wrong.

3. Start off by loving them, smiling at them, caring for them, asking about their welfare and health. Buy little gifts for each one individually.

4. Once their confidence develops in you start talking about good qualities of your mum to your father in small dosages and sprinkle larger dosages of her administration and respect and love for him. Do so vice-versa.

5. Avoid getting in between any disputes help them learn to overlook and focus on positive qualities.

Then Take Note:

You have made your duas and your efforts continue. Whatever the outcome don’t despair resign it to the will of Allah Ta’ala. Allah Ta’ala Knows BEST. YOU MUST ONLY CONCENTRATE ON YOUR DUTIES TO SHOW LOVE, RESPECT AND KIDNESS. HOWEVER DON’T DESPAIR IN THE MERCY OF ALLAH TA’ALA. He is very kind and merciful. May Allah Ta’ala remove your and their difficulty and create love between husband and wife and happiness in your home.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

2SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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