Before answering the question, the following principles should be borne in mind:
1.Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) has mentioned, ‘Modesty is part of Imaan (faith).’ It is thus necessary to behave in a modest manner at all times and not adopt immoral traits and habits.
2. Sexual intercourse had many different dimensions to it, viz. Fulfillment of a human need, Fulfillment of desires, fun, Increasing the Human race and more especially increasing the Ummah of Sayyiduna Muhammad (Sallallaahu alayhi wasallam), however in addition to all these, another salient feature of intercourse in the eyes of Shariah is that it is an idabah (an act of worship). Thus when engaging in this act, one should be conscious of Allah Taala and not adopt the reckless abandon so common amongst the Kuffar of these times.
3. The tool of intercourse is the private part of the Man, thus usage of any “aids” can only be to complement this tool and not to substitute it.
4. One should at all times stay far from such situations and places, which if he is seen in, could lead to others entertaining evil thoughts and suspicions about him, even though he was going there for a permissible reason.
Regarding the use of Sex toys, their use is permissible with the following conditions:
1. It should not cause any internal or external-harm to the body
2. It should not contain any haraam ingredients,
3. It should not be inserted into the inner-private part of the women, rather such toys should be used that stimulate the outer private parts, such as the clitoris.
4. It should only be used in foreplay and in order to enhance the act of intercourse, not to substitute it.
5. It should not be used so often that it becomes an integral part of the intercourse, so much so that the spouse then cannot gain sexual gratification without it.
6. One should also ensure that he does not commit any Haraam act when acquiring these toys nor should he go to any places of Haraam, such as adult gift shops. Even though one will be going for a valid reason, he is sure to look at Haraam pictures and others who see him enter will probably entertain evil thoughts about him.
and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best
Mufti Ebrahim Desai