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Should I marry my fiancee or not? Is it bad that my fiancée is very sure that he can marry me but I am confused.

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Should I marry my fiancee or not? Is it bad that my fiancée is very sure that he can marry me but I am confused.

I am engaged to my first cousin from last 3 yrs. In the beginning I was ok with this engagement and I tried to talk to my fiancée but he was very shy he didn’t give me a good response then he came to USA 6 months ago and he is changing and talks to me but now I do not feel like to marry him for some reason I think he is not the right guy for me as his nature is totally different than mine but I do not want to break engagement because he is a nice and religious guy

Answer

Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your present problem.

Sister, it is most important that you should get married to a person you really want to get married to. We often receive mail from young ladies who state that they had change of mind about marrying someone but were too afraid to inform the family. You have to be honest with yourself and the family and tell them that you need time to think this over. You could perhaps give yourself another few months to think the matter over and if after that your heart is still not inclined towards marriage with your cousin, inform your family accordingly. It is better to be clear about your intentions now rather than to lead on the young man and the rest of the family that you intend to marry him. A woman has the right to refuse to marry somebody if she does not feel happy in her heart about the match. Do remember that when you make istigaarah, you do not have to have a dream or a specific sign. If you have a good “feel” or feel inclined in a positive way, that is enough to go ahead. Likewise if you feel uncomfortable and uneasy, then decide accordingly. Continue to perform istigaarah till you feel inclined one way or the other. You may write to us again if you so wish. May Allah Ta’ala guide you.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Sister Fadila
SOCIAL DEPT.

CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai (FATWA DEPT.)

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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