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She has a daughter and she is elder than me.we both live like brother and sister. I have got to know that my mom wants me and her to get married after I complete my education

Answered as per Hanafi Fiqh by Askimam.org

Asalam-o-Alikum,I want to ask a question about marriage please help me in this matter.I am 19 yrs of age now and since I was a child I have been living with my khala (almost 10yrs) and still I am studying in the city in which my khala lives.She has a daughter and she is elder then me.we both live like brother and sister.I knwo that we are not true brother and sister but we consider each other as true and have the feelings of true brother and sister.I have got to know that my mom wants me and her to get married after I complete my education and this things is really making me upset coz I consider her as my sister and dont want to do this what my mother say and on the other hand I dont want to say NO to my mother. my mother is not ready to understand my problem and she says that child has to sacrifice sometimes.But for me is difficult to face this thing.Please help me what should I do because this thing will make my life very difficult and my parents cant understand this please help me in this matter.I hope you will understand my english.Thanks you…Allah Hafiz

Answer

In principle, it is permissible for you to marry your cousin. She is a Ghayr Mahram (not prohibited in marriage) to you. She is not your real sister and therefore you ought to have observed Hijaab from her.

As an adult, you have an independent right to marry a person of your choice. At the same time, you should consider the opinion of your mother as that is motivated by her love for you. She knows what is best for you. We advise you open your heart and consider the opinion of your mother and inform her that you will make Istikhaara. If you still feel negative after making Istikhaara, then express that to your mother.

In this approach, it is not expected of your mother to be upset with you as you sincerely considered her opinion, but due to the indication in the Istikhaara, you could not risk committing to marriage.

and Allah Ta’ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai

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This answer was collected from Askimam.org, which is operated under the supervision of Mufti Ebrahim Desai from South Africa.

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