Do I have to invite my entire family for my Wedding?

Assalamualaikum, I am planning to have a wedding ceremony (walimatul urus), but due to financial constraint, I have to limit my guest invitation. The reason being is that my soon-to-be spouse & I need to realistically consider our budget for our marriage, not just wedding that’s going to be held in only one day to be done with. Unlike the old days, we live in a world where we can easily contact/communicate other people or receive news about people via social media/phone conversation. News spreads easily & fast. Some people would easily be offended if they know that they are not invited to a wedding/celebration/gathering. Some would even be offended for not receiving an invitation for an intimate ceremony (ceremony between family, relatives & close friends) because they might assume they are not our close circle of friend as they would assume. I know some people would encourage to invite everyone that we know as it can be considered as a form as sadaqah to feed & entertain our guest. But I’m in a dilemma between facing the reality of marriage financially (as it forms part of our responsibility as spouses) and to make people around me happy & not to jeopardize our ties as friends/acquaintances. Some people would say that rezeqi comes from Allah & there’s nothing to fear about the financial issue. But I believe that believing in Rezeqi from Allah must come togther with our effort to find that rezeqi & to manage it wisely. I need help on how to go about this in islamic way. What would a good muslim would do?

Answer

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

You enquire about your marriage ceremony and what would a good Muslim do in that situation. Your predicament is trying to reconcile between financial constraints and maintain friendship.

The guideline for a good Muslim is the way of Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم.

Allah Says,

{لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ}

There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah a perfect example. 

[الأحزاب: 21]

Rasulullah صلي الله عليه وسلم advised to incur least amount of expenses in a nikah

Consider the hadith: 

 

إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ النِّكَاحِ بَرَكَةً أَيْسَرُهُ مُؤْنَةً

“The most blessed wedding is that which has the least expenses”.  )Ahmad)1

 

It is also a great sunnah to maintain friendship.

Consider the Hadith:

الْمُؤْمِنُ مَأْلَفَةٌ، وَلَا خَيْرَ فِيمَنْ لَا يَأْلَفُ وَلَا يُؤْلَفُ

The believer is gracious, for there is no goodness in one who is neither kind nor friendly. (Ahmad) 2

 

You may consider informing your friends that you will be getting married and you request their kind duas. Inform them that you wish to conduct a small nikah ceremony in keeping with sunnah in order to invoke maximum barakah and blessings.

We hope your friend will appreciate you informing them of your nikah and respect your wishes. In this way you would achieve both objectives, maintaining your friendship and financial budget. You will also be rewarded for practising and propagating a sunnah.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Huzaifah Deedat

Student Darul Iftaa
Lusaka, Zambia

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

______________________

سنن أبي داود ت الأرنؤوط- المكتبة العصرية (6/ 238) 1

حدَّثنا ابنُ نُفَيل، حدَّثنا محمدُ بنُ سَلَمةَ، عن محمدِ بنِ إسحاقَ، عن عبدِ اللهِ بنِ أبي أُمامة، عن عبدِ اللهِ بنِ كعْبِ بنِ مالكٍ

عن أبي أمامة، قال: ذكر أصحابُ رسول الله – صلَّى الله عليه وسلم – يوماً عنده الدُّنيا، فقال رسولُ الله – صلَّى الله عليه وسلم – ِ: “ألا تَسْمَعُونَ، ألا تَسْمَعُونَ، إنَّ البَذَاذَةَ مِنَ الإيمانِ، إن البذَاذَة مِنَ الإيمان ” يعني: التَّقحُّل

مسند أحمد ط الرسالة- مؤسسة الرسالة (41/ 75)

حَدَّثَنَا عَفَّانُ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ سَلَمَةَ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنِي ابْنُ الطُّفَيْلِ بْنِ سَخْبَرَةَ، عَنْ الْقَاسِمِ بْنِ مُحَمَّدٍ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، قَالَ: ” إِنَّ أَعْظَمَ النِّكَاحِ بَرَكَةً أَيْسَرُهُ مَؤُونَةً “

مسند أحمد ط الرسالة- مؤسسة الرسالة (37/ 492)2

 حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ بَحْرٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا مُصْعَبُ بْنُ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَبِي حَازِمٍ، عَنْ سَهْلِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ السَّاعِدِيِّ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: ” الْمُؤْمِنُ مَأْلَفَةٌ، وَلَا خَيْرَ فِيمَنْ لَا يَأْلَفُ وَلَا يُؤْلَفُ

__________

 متن الحديث حسن، لكن من حديث أبي هريرة كما سيأتي، وهذا إسناد ضعيف جداً، مصعب بن ثابت متفق على ضعفه، ثم هو قد خولف فيه كما سنبينه لاحقاً.

وأخرجه ابن حبان في “المجروحين” 3/29، والطبراني في “الكبير” (5744) ، وأبو الشيخ في “الأمثال” (179) ، وأبو نعيم في “تاريخ أصبهان” 2/92، والبيهقي في “الشعب” (8210) ، وفي “الآداب” (190) ، والخطيب في “تاريخ بغداد” 11/376 من طرق عن عيسى بن يونس، بهذا الإسناد

.