My wife wants to have a child but I dont want to have a child
My wife wants to have a child but I dont want to have a child. She said that by sharia I am bound not to discharge outside (Uzel). How can I avoid a child and what is the sharia rulling for it? Please note that she is in good health and also I dont have any fear of food? I dont want a child because I dont want to have a bounding upon me, what I mean by this is if i ever have to give divorce to my wife it would be rather easy as compared to when she will be having a child. This is because I want to leave her and marry another women. The reason being her behaviour and my likeness towards her.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
There are two issues in your query,
- The attitude in marriage and divorce.
- The wifes right of intimacy.
A marriage offers many comforts and presents challenges as well. When a person commits to a marriage, he should be fully committed to the marriage. He should enjoy the comforts of marriage and overcome the challenges in a marriage. He cannot hope to only enjoy the comforts and not face the challenges in a marriage. Such an attitude is escaping from the world of reality to the world of fantasy. A world of fantasy cannot function in a world of reality. It is incorrect to enter into a marriage half-heartedly and to adopt a try & test attitude in a marriage.
You state that, “I want to leave her and marry another woman.” If that is your intention, why did you marry her in the first place? You had enough time to enquire about your wife & make an informed decision before marrying her. After making an informed decision, it is gross and injustice to your wife to approach the marriage with a try & test attitude. Such an attitude is also against human respect, dignity and honour.
A woman is not meant to be used, i.e. if you are not comfortable with her then you leave her! If that attitude is not reformed, then you will never be happy with any woman as every human being has weaknesses. Imagine if your wife has to adopt the attitude you have and wishes to try you out before being fully committed to the marriage!!
The second issue is of ‘azl. Your wife is correct. It is her right to enjoy intimacy which is through ejaculation in her. If she does not permit you to ejaculate out, you cannot do so. Depriving your wife of fulfilment in intimacy is a sin & it is depriving her of her right.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Student Darul Iftaa
Leicester, England, UK
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
Fatawa Haqqaniyyah – Jami’ah Darul-Uloom Haqqaniyyah V 4 Pg. 559
Fatawa Darul-Uloom Zakariyya V 3 Pg. 650
Fatawa Darul-Uloom Deoband Darul-Isha’at V 7 Pg. 375
Fatawa Mahmudiyyah Jami’ah Faruqiyyah V 18 Pg. 321
بدائع الصنائع في ترتيب الشرائع (2/ 334)
ويكره للزوج أن يعزل عن امرأته الحرة بغير رضاها؛ لأن الوطء عن إنزال سبب لحصول الولد، ولها في الولد حق، وبالعزل يفوت الولد، فكأنه سببا لفوات حقها، وإن كان العزل برضاها لا يكره؛ لأنها رضيت بفوات حقها، ولما روي عن رسول الله – صلى الله عليه وسلم – أنه قال: «اعزلوهن أو لا تعزلوهن إن الله تعالى إذا أراد خلق نسمة، فهو خالقها» إلا أن العزل حال عدم الرضا صار مخصوصا، وكذلك إذا كانت المرأة أمة الغير أنه يكره العزل عنها من غير رضا لكن يحتاج إلى رضاها أو رضا مولاهذلك إلى المولى.
وقال أبو يوسف، ومحمد: إليها (وجه) قولهما أن قضاء الشهوة حقها، والعزل يوجب نقصانا في ذلك، ولأبي حنيفة أن كراهة العزل لصيانة الولد، والولد له لا لها، والله عز وجل أعلم