I hope you are well. I am seeking your advise on a calamity that I have recently face.
I got married two months before. Later on I found my wife had sexual relationship with three guys before me. She had oral sex countless times. I am a practicing muslim to some extent but not in full sunnah. I was virgin before getting married to her. Allah saved me from doing Jinna. I knew all of her past after a week of marriage and I was waiting on her testimony. But she did not tell me anything until I told her I know everything on her. Her family is very greedy type so as their relatives.
Then I provided her hadith and some good books on Islam. And ask her to do tauba and change her life. I tried my best to give her islamic knowledge.
She lost her sexual desire. She only likes oral sex. We hardly had intercourses few times. No hormones come out of her. I told her if she can change her I will forget her past. I am very doubtful if she can change her even she is saying she will. I can’t build my trust to her and always doubtful. She dis not raised up in an islamic environment and her family is very greed. I always think that they just using me to bring her in Australia.
I am also doing Istekhara if I should continue relationship with her but no result yet. I am very confused what should I do.
Sheikh please guide me and if any islamic ruling applicable in this scenerio please advise me. My life is completely spoiled up. I can’t concentrate in anything no le even I can’t share with my family.
Jazzaka Allah hu Khairan..
n the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
There are two fundamental objectives of a marriage, chastity and comfort. If you are certain that you will maintain your chastity through your marriage to this woman and she too will adopt a chaste life and give you the required peace and comfort in the marriage then the marriage will be an act of virtue as by marrying her, you would be giving her a life of honor and dignity.
However, marriage is built upon trust. If either partner cannot be honest to the other, the marriage simply cannot last. You state that you will forget her past if she can change. Continue to work on helping her change. If you sense that she has no desire to change, then we advise you to consult with senior people who you trust and confide in and act on their advice.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Abdullah ibn Mohammed Aijaz
Student Darul Iftaa
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.
Adapted from http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/34946 Answered by: Molana Ahmad Jafari
Ma’aariful Qur’an PG.350/V.6